► Month 3 with our new Audi SQ8
► We’re not a fan of the electric door mirrors
► Read month 1 here
Our relationship with Audi’s electric SUV got off to a rocky start, with the SQ8 refusing to connect to chargers half the time. But my bigger beef is with the virtual door mirrors – hazardous on the move and useless in tight manoeuvres, aided and abetted by hopeless software that spreads confusion about the threat level.
I’m in a really busy car park, so there’s no option of a pillar-free middle space. But this gap is big enough for the SQ8: it might be body-shamed as ‘exceptionally wide’ by Le Shuttle’s booking website but it’s no broader than the Range Rover and BMW iX I recently ran without any bashed bodywork. That said, the SQ8 could benefit from the Rangie’s rear-wheel steering, which helps pivot that car into parking slots.
I inch backwards, gazing in- tently at the left-side monitor, which has multiple flaws: it’s too distant, making it unfeasibly small; it displays a flat 2D image; and the lens doesn’t give a sufficiently wide-angled view to assess your true proximity to hazards. The monitor’s low position also forces you to look down below the car’s shoulder line, as opposed to out through the window, which would help spatial awareness. It’d be easier to reverse-park a submarine.
But it’s the neurotic software that provides the killer blow. Any time it calculates you’re on a collision course, even if the SQ8 is some distance from an obstacle and will turn in time, it emits a blood-curdling scream. On occasion I’ve got out to check and seen it won’t be a problem. But the software’s habit of crying wolf means I fatefully disregard it today.
There’s no bang, no scraping sound, just the SQ8 stopped in its tracks. I assess the damage: multiple panels scratched. I get back in and in my flustered state clip the protruding camera on the same pillar, breaking its surround. So I just sit there, feeling utterly wretched, in a car I don’t trust myself to park as it’s shot my confidence to pieces.
And that’s a real shame, because going forwards it does the opposite. The steering is beautifully judged: responsive off the dead-ahead, impeccably weighted and adjustable in corners without feeling heavy or laboured. The brakes are great too: crisp to respond, biting hard and feeling natural – no mean feat for an EV mixing regenerative and friction stopping.
The air-sprung ride is taut, with that 2650kg unladen weight demanding stiff springs, but it’s seldom crashy and only floaty over sudden fast crests. And the SQ8 excels in quick corners, with the body rolling gently as the chassis hunkers down and the Continentals stick fast. I reckon this might be one EV that feels tidy on a fast circuit, though hairpins might be another matter entirely…
Logbook: Audi SQ8 e-Tron Black Edition (month 3)
Price: £103,310
Performance: 106kWh battery, three e-motors, 496bhp, 4.5sec 0-62mph, 130mph
Efficiency: 2.2 miles per kWh (official), 1.9 miles per kWh (tested), 0g/km CO2
Range: 269 miles (official), 203 miles (tested)
Energy cost: 19.0p per mile
Miles this month: 1069
Total miles: 2694