April Fools’ Day is here once again and, with it, another batch of press release pranks. From some you might wish were real to a few reassuringly nonsensical ones, here’s a whistlestop tour of 2015’s best April Fools’ tomfoolery from the automotive world.
The pony way is Essex
Essex ‘farmer’ Ted Kinsella has planted around 35,000 miniature shrubs to mark out the emblem of a Mustang. Why? In the hope that Ford’s latest muscle car might one day be sold in the UK. Funny that. Shame he didn’t read CAR’s news story back in 2013; he could have saved himself some work.
Skoda Fabia Shadechanges
Spring is here and Skoda clearly thinks we need some colour in our lives. It’s developed a new technology enabling drivers to change the colour of each body panel on the move via the infotainment screen. It’s all made possible by a newly discovered element called unobtainium, apparently, which changes colour when a small electrical charge is applied to it.
VW Caddy Maxi Mini
Could this revolutionary mini van be a game-changer in the micro car segment? Measuring just 2.4 metres in length, it’s aimed at those who don’t require much load space. ‘This is the perfect van for the modern office. Let’s say Kevin from Accounts wants to pop out and get a sandwich for lunch or maybe collect his tie from the dry cleaners, the Caddy Maxi Mini is the perfect vehicle,’ says head of new product development at Volkswagen Commercial Vehicles UK, Dr. Avin A’laf.
Ready to attack corners A-Team style?
Here’s another van coincidentally revealed on April Fools’ Day, but this one’s a tad sportier. Mercedes-AMG claims to have produced the a true ‘supervan’. The Mercedes-AMG Sprinter63 S is said to contain a 4.0-litre V8 biturbo engine with 500bhp. We’ll hang on for the Black Edition.
Nissan’s GYM function
Fed up of paying for a gym membership you never use? Nissan has a solution. The manufacturer has announced a new ‘GYM’ function that should help drivers to get fitter. When enabled, the option turns off all driving assistance systems, increases the resistance of the pedals and stiffens up the gearbox gate. According to Nissan, you could burn an extra 1,415 calories a week.
Is BMW planning to expand?
In a brand strategy switch-over, BMW has announced it will apply its automotive safety technology to the rugby field. ‘We wanted to develop something that could genuinely improve performance and help the face of rugby,’ said Dr Uwe Gotobekidin, Head of Product Fabrication. BMW’s specially modified mouthguards are made from ethylene-propylen-dien rubber, employing tyre tread technology for extra grip, and use BMW’s signature “kidney grille” between the front incisors for an elegant respiration vent.
Vauxhall’s two in one: Vivaro Taxi Kebabi
Vauxhall has revealed the Taxi Kebabi, a vehicle set to dually revolutionise the night-time taxi and catering markets. Based on the nine-seat Vivaro Combi, it features a bunch of bespoke extras, among them two gas-fired spit rotisserie grills, salad bowls integrated into the arm rests, chilli dispensers and even a tasty selection of sauces.
Honda: the power of selfie?
Honda has announced the HR-V Selfie Edition, with 10 cameras dotted around the interior and exterior to snap self-portraits. Honda claims that the car is still being beta tested before it goes on sale. Safety first, and all that.
Anti-doughnut and drag racing system for golf buggies
Young driver insurance firm Marmalade claims to have a solution to the typical damage caused by the increasing phenomenon of ‘golf rage’. It’s developed a new telematics system with an onboard camera to monitor the driving behaviour of each buggy. Lead-footed golfers, count yourselves lucky this is just a joke…
Lotus goes ambiguous: real or fiction?
Apparently Daniel Craig – and surely not a lookalike – has personally collected a brand-new Evora 400 from Lotus’ headquarters at Hethel. He’s clearly a Roger Moore fan, too; the car’s numberplate matches that of the amphibious Esprit in 1977 Bond flick The Spy Who Loved Me. That’ll be Aston Martin on the phone…
Ginetta dashes hopes of road-going LMP3 car
And last but not least, Ginetta raised hardcore enthusiasts’ hopes of a road-legal version of its new LMP3 racer with this tweet. Sadly, the prospect of a budget alternative to the McLaren P1 GTR was cruelly dashed with a numberplate change to APR FUL3 in a subsequent social media confession.