► Say hello to the new Vauxhall Corsa VXR
► It’s green, and no we didn’t choose the colour
► We welcome Shrek to the fleet
I’ve never really ‘got’ Vauxhall. I’ve liked many of its cars – sleek Calibra, ballsy VXR220 and stubby GTC top the list – but it’s never been a brand that has upped my bpm, never been quite on my must-drive radar. The Corsa VXR could change that.
The VXR weighs in at £17,995. Chunky money, but the top-dog Corsa comes pretty well equipped. Bi-xenon headlamps, grippy Recaros, DAB radio, chunky leather three-spoker steering wheel, two-stage traction, a smartphone-savvy IntelliLink infotainment system, air-con, heated windscreen and cruise control are standard.
It’s powered by an evolution of the 1598cc blown four-pot from the outgoing VXR. Revised fuel-injection and air-intake systems are complemented by a Remus exhaust with reduced back-pressure. The engine develops 202bhp at a relatively low 5800rpm and a chunky 181lb ft that kicks in at 1900rpm and stays put until 5800rpm. There’s even an 11sec overboost system that chucks a further 26lb ft at the front wheels during foot-flat manoeuvres. And with a thick-ankled 1293kg kerbweight, all that torque will be necessary.
We decided to go the whole hog with the VXR so we also added the £1045 Leather Pack, £545 worth of pearlescent paint, the £150 Carbon Pack and the £2400 Performance Pack that includes a Drexler limited-slip diff, larger 330mm-diameter Brembo front discs, bigger 18in alloy wheels shod with gooey Michelin Pilot Supersports and Konis fitted with what Vauxhall euphemistically calls ‘more focused Frequency Selective Damping settings’.
If these features sound familiar it’s because they were sported by the outgoing Nürburgring and ClubSport models, and lifted the Corsa from also-ran to contender.
In typical VXR style, it shouts about its performance. Within an hour of it arriving my young daughters nicknamed it The Shrek. Why? ‘It’s very green and very ugly!’ Fair points, both. Its fussy nose treatment, gurning grille and bulging bum are big on muscular intent but low on style.
Surprisingly, the sober and neat cabin is low-key. VXR clues – subtle instrument graphics, logo’d gearknob, alloy pedals – are few and understated. Still, the basics are sound – low driving position, ideally spaced pedals and gearlever, and intuitive minor controls.
First impressions? Well, I haven’t fallen in love. The good points first. That hefty torque means the Corsa pushes past slower traffic with ease. The superb Brembos are meaty and full of feel. The Recaros are both supportive and comfortable. Heel and toeing is a doddle with the pedals. Mechanical grip is astounding – the VXR scythes through corners with real security.
The not so good points? The engine comes to the party with plenty of torque, but grunt aside it’s distinctly lacking in charisma. It sounds dull and flat, and there’s little in the way of redline zing. Functional best describes it. The ride is borderline acceptable – it is very uncompromising, and every intrusion makes its way into the cabin. The steering is direct and precise but a touch light and a little mushy just off the straight ahead.
So then, a visual and dynamic mixed bag. Looks like The Shrek has its work cut out.
How we specced our Corsa VXR
Pearlescent Lime Green £545: Because we’re not shy. Nope, not us…
Leather Pack £1045: Recaros in velour? Hell no
Performance Pack £2400: Slippy diff, concrete dampers, Brembo brakes, bigger wheels. Pricey but necessary
Carbon Pack £150: Cheap? That’s because it’s Luton-style plastic carbonfibre
Logbook: Vauxhall Corsa VXR
Engine: 1598cc 16v turbo 4-cyl, 202bhp @ 5800rpm, 181lb ft @ 1950rpm
Gearbox: 6-speed manual, front-wheel drive
Stats: 6.5sec 0-62mph, 143mph, 174g/km
Price: £17,995
As tested: £22,135
Miles this month: 1716
Total miles: 1716
Our mpg: 32.2
Official mpg: 37.7
Fuel this month: £336.55
Extra costs: £0